Wednesday, April 22, 2009

It's Not Over

I guess I was under the premature assumption that after my mastectomy, the hard part was over.  Physically, I suppose, that was correct.  And, as mentioned in an earlier post, I was concerned about how I would look after surgery.  No big deal there, either (after all, I’m aliveJ).  So when I went for my second anti-hormone injection on Monday, I also figured it was going to be easy stuff…and physically it was.  Emotionally, it was another story.  As they drew blood for testing, I began to wonder, “Will something come back abnormal?”  “I wonder what the test is going to show.” “Will they know if I have more cancer from my blood test?”  I think you get the idea.  After the test, I was taken to a room for vitals, and what do you know, I had a fever of 100.3.  Funny thing was, I felt fine.  Five minutes later when the doctor entered, I immediately asked, “Why do I have a fever?” (like he knew the answer).  He took my temperature again and it read 98.8.  My realization was, though, that cancer has come into my life to stay.  It didn’t end with surgery and medication.  I will always worry and wonder at each of my doctor appointments whether or not cancer has returned somewhere in my body.  Needless to say, it threw me into a tired, stressed, hormonal meltdown for the next day and a half.  Oh well, maybe it will get easier, maybe not…but I am alive and healthy today, and for that I am grateful.  As for my children, they may be learning the word “bipolar” very soon…ha ha ha!!!

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
      

Joshua J. Marine

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Back to Work

I have survived my first week back at work.  I was a bit reluctant on Monday to return to working, but it only took a few “Mrs. Karst, I’m so glad you’re back” comments and an abundance of hugs from kids to remind me that Ben Lomond Elementary is also “home”. It’s amazing how you can be away for 5 weeks, yet after only a few minutes, feel as if you never left:).  Being around children heals the soul, and I am elated to be back surrounded by busy little bodies. 


"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."

John W. Whitehead

 

 

 

Saturday, April 11, 2009

"The Race"


Over the past months, I have been asked countless questions (which I loveJ).  One of the questions that has been repeated over and over is related to my ending quotes.  “Where do you get all your quotes?” I am asked.  Well, I have always been somewhat of a quote-a-holic.  I have books of quotes, quotes posted in my classroom, a whiteboard in my kitchen where I write quotes,…etc.  I simply love when I find the perfect quote to convey my thoughts or a poignant message.  Most of the quotes on my blog are simply from the internet (quotegarden.com was used quite a bit).  A good quote is like an exclamation mark, and can hold so much power in it’s simplicity. I am glad that so many of you enjoyed reading them.

What I would love to share now, though, is a story.  I have read this story hundreds of times over the past 10 years or so.  I loved it the moment I read it, and have used it with my own children, as well as my school kids.  It’s a poem/story called “The Race” and I hope you find it as inspirational as I do.  It’s a simple story about a childhood race, but it packs a powerful message about life I believe we can all use.  It’s long, but worth the read.  Enjoy one of my favorites…

 

The Race

 

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race.

Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.


And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son.

And each boy hoped to show his dad that he would be the one.

 

The whistle blew and off they went, young hearts and hopes afire.

To win and be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

 

And one boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd

Was running near the lead and thought: “My dad will be so proud!”

 

But as he speeded down the field, across a shallow dip,

The little boy who thought to win, lost his step and slipped.

 

Trying hard to catch himself, his hands flew out to brace,

And mid the laughter of the crowd, he fell flat on his face.

 

So down he fell and with him hope, he couldn’t win it now.

Embarrassed, sad, he only wished to disappear somehow.

 

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face.

Which to the boy so clearly said: “Get up and win the race!”

 

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all.

And ran with all his mind and might, to make up for his fall.

 

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,

His mind went faster than his legs; he slipped and fell again!

 

He wished then he had quit before, with only one disgrace.

“I’m hopeless as a runner now; I shouldn’t try to race.”

 

But in the laughing crowd he searched, and found his father’s face.

That steady look which said again; “Get up and win the race!”

 

So up he jumped to try again, ten yards behind the last.

“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to move real fast.”

 

Exerting everything he had, he gained eight or ten.

But trying so hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again!

 

Defeat! He lied there silently, a tear dropped from his eye.

“There’s no sense running anymore: three strikes: I’m out! Why try?”

 

The will to rise had disappeared; all hope had fled away.

So far behind, so error-prone: a loser all the way.

 

“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought, “I’ll live with my disgrace.”

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

 

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “Get up and take your place.

You were not meant for failure here. Get up and win the race!”

 

“With borrowed will get up,” it said, “ You haven’t lost at all.

For winning is no more than this: to rise each time you fall.”

 

So up he rose to run once more, and with a new commit.

He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

 

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been.

Still he gave it all he had, and ran as though to win.

 

Three times he’d fallen, stumbling; three times he rose again:

Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

 

They cheered the winning runner, as he crossed the line first place.

Head high, and proud, and happy; no falling, no disgrace.

 

But when the fallen youngster crossed the line last place,

The crowd gave him the greater cheer, for finishing the race.

 

And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud,

You would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.

 

And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do too well.”

“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

 

**********

 

And when things seem so dark and hard, and difficult to face,

The memory of that little boy, helps me in my race.

 

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.

And all you have to do to win, is rise each time you fall.

 

“Quit!  Give up, you’re beaten!”  they may shout in my face.

But a stronger voice within me says: “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

1 Week Left

Jake surfing for the first time:)
It’s amazing how fast time flies.  It has been 5 weeks since my mastectomy and I find myself with only one week left until I go back to work.  To be honest, I’m feeling a bit sad about it.  I have thoroughly enjoyed the past 4 weeks, picking up my kids from school, going to Las Vegas, working the book fair, going to ball games, camping at the beach (even did a 6 mile bike ride, too)…etc.  With the exception of the first week after surgery, it’s almost been like a mini-vacationJ.  The first days following surgery were all about physical recovery, with the last 4 weeks being more about mental recovery.  I truly feel like a million bucks and am so thankful for the family and friends who have spent so much time with me.  They have kept life “normal” and I don’t believe I would be where I am today without them.  Life is good!!!

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."
Robert Brault