It's Not Over

I guess I was under the premature assumption that after my mastectomy, the hard part was over.  Physically, I suppose, that was correct.  And, as mentioned in an earlier post, I was concerned about how I would look after surgery.  No big deal there, either (after all, I’m aliveJ).  So when I went for my second anti-hormone injection on Monday, I also figured it was going to be easy stuff…and physically it was.  Emotionally, it was another story.  As they drew blood for testing, I began to wonder, “Will something come back abnormal?”  “I wonder what the test is going to show.” “Will they know if I have more cancer from my blood test?”  I think you get the idea.  After the test, I was taken to a room for vitals, and what do you know, I had a fever of 100.3.  Funny thing was, I felt fine.  Five minutes later when the doctor entered, I immediately asked, “Why do I have a fever?” (like he knew the answer).  He took my temperature again and it read 98.8.  My realization was, though, that cancer has come into my life to stay.  It didn’t end with surgery and medication.  I will always worry and wonder at each of my doctor appointments whether or not cancer has returned somewhere in my body.  Needless to say, it threw me into a tired, stressed, hormonal meltdown for the next day and a half.  Oh well, maybe it will get easier, maybe not…but I am alive and healthy today, and for that I am grateful.  As for my children, they may be learning the word “bipolar” very soon…ha ha ha!!!

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
      

Joshua J. Marine