Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Two Percent

I was supposed to get my radiation tattoos today--supposed to schedule my radiation times--supposed to leave feeling relief that treatment was moving forward.  But cancer isn't always predictable, and I should have known not to get my hopes up that everything would go as planned today.

I knew something was wrong as soon as Dr. Kway (the radiologist) said, "We need to talk".  She had the unfortunate task of informing me that although my calcifications came back normal (benign) last week, the breast tissue stain did not.  There was a 98% chance the tissue would be normal, 2% chance it would not...I hit the dreaded 2% today and learned that they have found more cancer, unrelated to the first tumor.  

My cancer team is taking my case to their conference on Friday to determine what to do next.  I heard the words MRI, surgery, mastectomy, radiation...etc., but to be honest, I had a hard time taking the news in and processing it all.  It was all rather unexpected and overwhelming.  So I will wait again until Friday,  when they will call me and present me with their findings.  There are times I feel like I might just be fighting a battle I can't win.  But the thought quickly fades when I look at my children. I will fight...and I will fight hard.  I will do whatever it takes to beat this disease called "cancer".  I am more determined than ever to win! 

"When you are feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best."
Leslie Grossman

2 comments:

Kathy Summers said...

Linda, Kids do wonders for our health don't they! Keep strong with that positive attitude. I'll walk this road with you until you win this nasty fight!
Kathy

Anonymous said...

linda, i am so sorry to hear this news. i can imagine how worried you must be. but, it sounds like they are really on top of it. and you have a lot of positives on your side. you will definitely beat this -- its just a lot to go through. you are in my prayers. margaret