Getting ready to go watch Jake's baseball game...my first outing that didn't involve a doctor:)I had an appointment with the surgeon today and got the final two drains removed. The bigger part of today, though, had more to do with viewing myself through new eyes. The past week has been one of recovery, with my chest pretty heavily bandaged and covered. I got a little peek the day I left the hospital when the doctors changed all the dressings, but until today, I had no real opportunities to look at my breasts. I was a little nervous about the emotions that might accompany looking at myself for the first time.
So, I stood in front of the mirror and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I stared for a bit, and then smiledJ. Sure there are two large scars, sure there is swelling and bruising, sure I look different than before…but then again, I am different now. I may look a bit battered, but hey, I’m winning! I’m winning the biggest battle of my life. Those two scars are simply “battle wounds”… reminders of a difficult fight with cancer, where I am winning the opportunity to live, to see my children graduate, marry and have families of their own. How can I possibly be sad?
So the day I may have been dreading the most, brought a sense of exhilaration instead. I realize that my recovery emotions may change at times, but at least for today I can say, “I love the new me!”
“There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed—done with.”
Harry Crews
3 comments:
Hurray Linda!!!!! You are a hero to me!! My life has changed because of you.. I will NEVER say I can't do something when faced with a challenge! You ROCK my friend!
Thank you for letting be a part of your life!
Love,
Karin
Dearest Linda,
Just another example of a winner's attitude. I'm glad to see that you are getting better each day. I was really impressed with your acomplishment of making a cup of coffee and washing your own hair in only one week after surgery. I cared for Verne's mother after her mastectomy and saw how painful it was for her to life her hand at all. Cheers to you. Job very well done. It will get easier. More prayers coming your way and for all of your family. It really takes a team effort. Much love, Betty
You are a true inspiration to any and all who think they have it tough - including me! Each time I read your blog, I smile a little and at times cry a little; but it always leaves me feeling proud to say we are friends.
I do not know the source for your ending quotes, but they are thought provoking.
Again, thank you for being my friend.
Love you,
Charlotte
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